


On The Appetites Of Zanpakuto

by Ourliazo



Series: A Brief Foray [2]
Category: Bleach, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Fluff - Kind Of, Gen, Giotto Is So Done, Humor, Leon Is Kind Of Terrifying, Off-Screen Canibalism, Oh Byakuran Why, Reborn Can't Say No To Leon, Tsuna is adorable, Warning: Hibari Kyouya, Zanpakuto Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 11:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10333187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourliazo/pseuds/Ourliazo
Summary: The zanpakuto are running around destroying things. It's only slightly worse than when their Shinigami are running around destroying things.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Background: Bleach AU, during the zanpakuto arc.

"So," Giotto sighs, scanning his office which is currently being used as a makeshift meeting room. "To sum it all up, the zanpakuto have gone insane."

"Yep," Lampo says calmly.

"I think it's kind of fun," Asari chuckles. "What do you think my Takeshi would be like?" He muses with a grin, hand coming to rest on the handle of his sheathed sword.

"Exactly as idiotic and carefree as you!" G snaps. "I really think there should be more panicking right now, or at least some worry."

"There's no need," Daemon dismisses casually, peering out of a window. "This will cull the weakest. It's a blessing, really."

"Thank you for that inspiring bit of wisdom," Giotto deadpans. "I have no idea why Timoteo let you be a captain, but I have never questioned that decision as much as this moment."

Daemon rolls his eyes. "Fine, fine. Oh no!" He suddenly cries sarcastically. "The zanpakuto are rebelling, what ever shall we do?"

"Much better," Lampo replies mockingly. "That really helps things along."

The door slams open, cutting off Daemon's comeback, and a seated officer from Giotto's division staggers to a halt looking panicked. "Sir, Alaude's zanpakuto has escaped containment."

There's a pause and then the screaming starts.

"Escaped containment?!" Lampo screeches. "Where's Alaude? Make him deal with it!"

"The fuck do you mean escaped?!" G roars, flailing his arms. "When the fuck did it appear in the first place?!"

"Enough!" Giotto screams to be heard over the panic (and Daemon's half-hysterical laughter). "Where was it contained?" Giotto asks the seated officer.

"Uh…" The woman begins. "Inside captain Alaude's house." She continues to explain at their incredulous looks. "It wasn't really containment, because they were kind of napping together, and so we thought it best to just leave them..."

Daemon starts laughing again.

"Okay," Giotto tries. "And where are they now?"

The woman shrugs. "Captain, they're very fast. I suggest following the screams and looking for the highest amount of destruction."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Asari chimes in. "That's what we normally do for Alaude."

"Your optimism never fails to astound me," G mutters. "At least Alaude is dealing with it."

The woman coughs and winces under their stares. "Sorry, but captain Alaude is currently… incapacitated."

"I'm going to need more words than that," Giotto says kindly. "Incapacitated how?"

"Well, captain Falco passed by, chasing his sword Colonnello," the woman begins. "And the zanpakuto took off. Captain Alaude gave chase but was…" she trails off, not sure how to explain it. "He was bitten to death."

Lampo chokes on an inhale and splutters. "Like for real?"

"No!" The woman cries. "Of course not, he was just knocked unconscious. It's just that the zanpakuto said it…"

Giotto face palms. "That's Alaude's bankai release," he sighs. "He says 'Bite to death, Skylark'."

Everyone in the room kind of winces, because every time Alaude's says that, a lot of pain follows.

"Alright, people!" Giotto says loudly to grab everyone's attention. "Let's go and find a Skylark."

"Actually," the woman hedges. "There's two of them."

Lampo groans.

* * *

"We must flow with the wind," a tall man explains. Covered in a red yukata and long hair braided, the man stands lightly atop the slanted roof, scanning the distance where multiple battles can be heard.

"But the battle is over there," an identical man protests, this time clad in deep purple with short black hair.

Around them, corporeal zanpakuto wreak havoc as squads of Shinigami desperately try to pin them down. The second man is clearly ignoring the small time fighting to instead focus on the faint roars and screeching of swords clashing further out.

"Things would be much easier if this thing was gone," Kyouya mutters, lifting his arm.

The chain attaching them clinks from the movement. While Fon's handcuff only twists lightly on his wrist, snug but not painful, Kyouya's handcuff causes a fresh trail of blood to run down his forearm and stain his sleeve. The spikes pointing inwards from the handcuff are deep enough to puncture his flesh and scrape against bone with every movement.

"Yes," Fon says in concern. "We need to get that off you soon. I don't know why it keeps hurting you when it never has before."

"It doesn't hurt," Kyouya denies. "Perhaps the blood is for intimidation factor. Like - like being really big or having sharp teeth."

Fon hums, a carefully neutral sound, and steps closer to try and take it off Kyouya. "Didn't it only start bleeding when you injured Alaude?"

Kyouya blinks in understanding and sighs in annoyance. "Figures that when he bleeds, I do as well. What a wonderfully obvious way to signify weakness."

"Doesn't it say something about his power that you've never bled before?" Fon says smugly before shrugging. "And, well, his inner world is rather… blank," he explains carefully. "Our appearance is the only way he can express anything."

"You can say it," Kyouya grumbles. "His mind is a prison. Literally purgatory and completely stationary. Why is the herbivore so messed up?"

A sudden laugh from behind them makes the two spin to face the intruder.

Mukuro smirks at them, standing on the rooftop as well. "It could be that Alaude has a rather violent sword he has to lock up." His eyes very calmly find Kyouya's bleeding wrist, droplets of red splattering against the roof at his feet.

"Excuse me," Fon says coldly. "I don't believe we invited your opinion."

Mukuro holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying that Kyouya here… well, he brings it on himself."

"I'll bite you to death," Kyouya snarls and takes a step towards Mukuro.

"Mukuro!" a woman roars in anger. "You little shit, I'll kill you!"

The zanpakuto chuckles and glances over his shoulder at the long, blonde haired woman. "My sincere apologies, dearest Elena," he simpers. "But I must find that despicable melon head who keeps my darling Chrome imprisoned."

Elena jabs a finger at Mukuro. "I swear to God, you stupid sword, I will-"

Mukuro disappears in a flash step.

Elena throws her hands up and screams in frustration before taking off after her zanpakuto.

Kyouya huffs and glares at Fon.

Fon only smiles serenely and takes Kyouya's hand. "Let's go and hurt things," the man drenched in red says.

The zanpakuto vanishes from sight with a speed that few can hope to match.

* * *

"Reborn!" Giotto calls out as he opens the man's door. "Alaude's zanpakuto has…"

Reborn looks up from the book he's reading and calmly raises an eyebrow, asking Giotto to continue. The insanely powerful yet unaligned shinigami is currently seated in the lap of a very large man who's incredibly muscular arms are tightly wrapped around Reborn.

The other man is a good head and shoulders above Reborn so it's a simple matter for him to peer over Reborn's hat at Giotto in curiosity, tongue flicking out before retracting quickly. The narrowed eyes, scales and forked tongue in addition to the enormous size gives the impression of a very threatening figure.

"I thought Leon was a chameleon," Giotto finally says.

Reborn shrugs. "He's a shape shifter, but a komodo dragon normally."

Giotto nods slowly. "And why is he…"

Leon speaks up himself, his voice low and gravelly with a hissing undertone. "If I can't sit on master's hat, then master will sit in my lap," the zanpakuto explains like a threat.

Giotto nods again and backs out of the room.

* * *

"Byakuran!" Knuckle cries. "This is enough!"

The free zanpakuto chuckles, squishing a marshmallow in between two fingers as he tosses an empty packet over his shoulder. "I'm only unlocking their true desire to get away from you disgusting shinigami."

A hand rises shakily as if this was class and they wanted to speak up.

Byakuran sighs. "Yes, Tsunayoshi?" He pops the last fluffy treat into his mouth and waves at the brunet to speak.

"A-actually," Tsuna begins nervously. "I think that maybe I want to go back into Giotto's inner world." He shoots not-at-all-discrete glances at the multitudes of terrifying shinigami and zanpakuto facing off against each other.

Both Kikyo and Zakuro glare at the poor zanpakuto and Tsuna flinches, squeaking loudly and trying his best to hide inside Giotto's haori.

Alaude raises an eyebrow at Giotto and the blonde puffs up protectively.

"Don't give me that look," Giotto snaps. "My Tsuna is adorable, damn it, and far more loyal than your psychotic zanpakuto, so you can't talk."

A rattle of handcuff chain makes everyone tense.

* * *

"Can you do something about them?" Lampo tries, holding his hand over Lambo's eyes as the child like zanpakuto tries to see what the fuss is about.

Kyouya pays no mind to the herbivore and continues licking blood off Fon's jaw while his fingers are cleaned by Fon's tongue.

Alaude shrugs, not minding how the two personalities of his zanpakuto are leaning over him to reach each other. However, he does mind that absolutely everyone in the meeting room can't seem to look away.

"It's not my problem," Alaude says. "I wasn't the one who called for a meeting without allowing people to clean up."

Timoteo pinches the bridge of his nose. "Fine, just be back here in an hour."

People start shuffling and getting ready to leave but Timoteo waves at Alaude to catch the platinum blonde shinigami's attention.

"Captain," Timoteo begins. "I understand that sometimes zanpakuto work in odd ways. However, if your sword eats someone again, I'm going to take action."

Kyouya's head swivels around, mimicked by not only Fon but also Alaude, all three identical eyes of silver staring down the first division captain with a dark intensity.

"I do hope that's a promise," Alaude murmurs.

**Author's Note:**

> Other story lines within this one:
> 
> 1) Poor Dino gets an unexpected visit from Reborn who (completely by accident, honest) gives his powers to the human and stays to tutor him in the ways of a shinigami.
> 
> 2) Daemon turns traitor abruptly (yeah, like anyone couldn't see that coming) and leaves for Las Noches after shoving his hand into Reborn's chest and stealing a pretty jewel.
> 
> 3) Skull makes one crack about Reborn being molested by Daemon, dies (again) and comes back to life (again).
> 
> 4) Reborn tracks down the man who gave him the gigai with the pretty jewel and while Reborn comes back satisfied, Kawahira doesn't turn up for quite a few episodes.
> 
> 5) The Varia are Espada, and honestly, they just want enough alcohol to satisfy their boss.
> 
> 6) The Vendice are Quincy and take a special delight in trying to kill Elena. Not because of the woman herself, but because of that God damned zanpakuto of hers.
> 
> 7) The spirit king is Enma, but everyone knows Adelheid has the power.
> 
> 8) And finally: Tsuna's ability is so disgustingly over powered that not even Alaude wants to fight Giotto. Kyouya does though.


End file.
